THE MARCUS CONLON EXPERIENCE
Episode #847 - Jackson Reed
Published March 15, 2018
[CONTINUING FROM 3:42:17]
MARCUS: After your laptop got hacked and everything went public, you went dark.
JACKSON: [bitter laugh] That's one way to put it. My entire life was splattered across the internet. Every field report, every private thought, every less-than-flattering thought about my clients. Twitter had a field day.
MARCUS: Your publishers dropped you immediately.
JACKSON: Within hours. Seventeen million in future contracts, gone. My agent wouldn't return my calls. Clients were threatening lawsuits. It was just too much, man. Too much. I never went to Iraq, so I don’t want to be insensitive, but I felt like I was in a war. Only I couldn’t fight back.
MARCUS: This was late July 2017?
JACKSON: End of July. I turned off my phone, disconnected my internet, didn't check the mail. Physical or digital. I just... sat in my loft and drank. Like what the fuck else could I do?
MARCUS: What did you do for money?
JACKSON: If there’s any upside to having a psycho bitch mom who steals from you, it’s that you never take money for granted. I don’t take out debt. I mean none. I pay cash for everything and Oklahoma has a damn low cost of living. If I dialed my standards way back I would never have to work again.
MARCUS: So why not retire? Everyone baying for your head was from the internet. Local people didn’t care, right?
JACKSON: Not really. I mean, there were lookie-loos. They’d seen me on the news, some probably thought it was funny. But none of the froth-mouth feminists were Oklahoma girls.
MARCUS: So why-
JACKSON: Oh fuck off, you know why. Getting canceled is clarifying. Yeah, I liked the money. But it wasn’t just that. I liked being known. And I liked being liked. It wasn’t easy for it all to turn off like that. Even from my own sister. She never did come to see me.
MARCUS: I came to see you.
JACKSON: [nods] August fifteenth. I remember because I'd run out of bourbon the night before and was debating whether to risk going to the liquor store.
MARCUS: You looked like shit.
JACKSON: I hadn't showered in a week. Hadn’t gone to the gym. Hadn't eaten anything but takeout in forever. I'd lost fifteen pounds. When you knocked, I almost didn't answer.
MARCUS: But you did.
JACKSON: Only because you wouldn't stop knocking. Thought you were another reporter.
MARCUS: Well, kinda was. I was reporting to you that Malik Reeves had reached out to me. Zack’s partner.
JACKSON: Yeah. I didn't want to hear it. I told you to leave. I was feeling real sorry for myself and it’s embarrassing to remember it. I’m glad you didn’t bring Nancy.
MARCUS: What am I, an asshole? I knew before I went you wouldn’t want to be on camera. You weren’t in a good place. I’ve taken some shit online, so I know how that feels. Especially having my Twitter suspended. Fuck you, Media Matters, for that little stunt. I know you were behind the mass-flagging by the way, you bunch of cock suckers. Anyway, I get that you didn’t think you cared about anything right then.
JACKSON: [pause] Vegas Metro had gone cold on Charlie's case. No leads since the tooth. And I was supposed to care about some YouTuber I'd never met? My life was over. Everything I'd built, destroyed. Because I'd stuck my nose where it didn't belong.
MARCUS: So I asked you what you did care about.
JACKSON: [long silence] I couldn't answer. I sat there on my couch, surrounded by empty bottles and pizza boxes, and I couldn't think of a single thing I gave a shit about.
MARCUS: [waiting]
JACKSON: You wouldn't let it go. You kept pushing. "What about the truth? What about justice for Charlie?" And I laughed. Actually laughed. Justice? The mob had their justice. They'd destroyed the misogynist ghostwriter. Case closed. You got banned just for saying there was something up with Irina, and so did anyone who suggested maybe ruining someone's life based on private journal entries was excessive. The mob wanted blood and they got it.
MARCUS: So what changed your mind?
JACKSON: You said something. You said, "Irina's still out there, still selling books, still making money. And you're in here feeling sorry for yourself."
That hit. Because you were right. She'd destroyed me—whether intentionally or not—and she was thriving. Her book was number one. She had a TV deal in development. And Charlie was still missing. Zack was still missing.
[pause]
I realized I had nothing left to lose. No reputation to protect, no career to salvage. If I wanted the truth about what happened to Charlie, I'd have to get it myself.
MARCUS: And Malik had given me all of Zack's research on Irina. Videos, notes, timelines. No one else gave a shit about him. It didn’t matter how many followers he had. You and me were the only ones who thought Zack was worth more than a passing glance.
JACKSON: Yeah, I remember laughing my ass off when Malik let it drop that he was a Marine too. The most overtly gay motherfucker I’d ever seen. Certified member of the E-4 Mafia.
MARCUS: Well, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell had been repealed by then. I guess it shouldn’t be that surprising.
JACKSON: Still feels funny to old heads like us. [pause]. Funny how many of the threads we pulled led back to the Marines.
Funny how I didn’t take it as a sign…
Another great fiction drop! Can't wait for the next one!